Thoughts induced by a hangover.

It constantly amazes me that I am actually an adult. I mean, I have a husband, a house, a car, and a job- and if all works out eventully a child. I mean, who would allow ME to raise a child? I don't feel like I am old enough or mature enough, or level-minded enough to raise a kid. Some days, okay most days, I feel scarcely older than a child. Then life hits me and I realize that I am an adult. I do take charge of problems and solve them. I don't really know what to do with myself these days however. So many of these days pass and I don't really like myself. I am constantly disapointed in myself- constantly at odds with who I am and what the world sees of me. I question myself- am I good enough? Am I smart enough? Am I a good friend? Thin enough? Kind enough? Sexy enough? Not a bitch, brat, spoiled, or pissy? I wonder if sometimes the reason I am not getting pregnant is because of something I did? Or said? or thought? Is it because that omnicient being "up there" doesn't want me to have kids? Or is it just that I havn't given it enough time... that time will heal all wounds? Damn that Catholic Guilt crap.